Category Archives: Cledus T Judd

Shes Got A Butt Bigger Than The Beatles

Posted on May 9, 2012 by admin

Chords and lyrics for Shes Got A Butt Bigger Than The Beatles by Cledus T Judd

G 

She cooks wit

C 

h 

 

lar

G 

d Loves ho

D 

t food bars

G 

A quart of s

C 

weet tea and

G 

fried 

 

po

D 

rk 

 

skins

G 

Can’t get enoug

C 

h eats ti

G 

ll she’s stuff

D 

ed

G 

Go’s to the bath room  

C 

and she com

D 

es back  

G 

again

 

She  

D 

thinks she looks just l

C 

ike 

 

Mado

G 

nna

 

When she  

C 

runs her  

G 

greasy fingers throug

D 

h her bleach blond hai

G 

r

D 

 

Most sometimes she’ll  

C 

place 

 

another

G 

order

 

And lordy have

C 

mercy 

 

on

G 

that little bitty

D 

chair

 

Sh

G 

e’s got a butt  

D 

bigger

C 

than the Beatl

G 

es

D 

Eatin me ou

C 

tta 

 

hou

G 

se and h

D 

ome

 

 

G 

Her booty size  

D 

well it  

C 

outta be illegal

D 

G 

She has  

D 

a hard time s

C 

ittin on the

D 

throne

G 

Hamburgers, 

 

H

D 

otdogs

C 

Cheese 

 

fries,

G 

and 

 

Coldslaw

G 

A dozen b

C 

ear 

 

c

D 

laws yum, yu

G 

m, 

 

yum

 

G 

Loves 

 

sau

C 

sage 

 

li

G 

nks, hates di

D 

et 

 

drinks

 

G 

Takes up both seats in  

C 

a two seater car

G 

D 

G 

Her doctor said, lay off  

C 

the 

 

bread

G 

D 

G 

But he didn’t say nothing bo

C 

ut a Snickers bar

G 

D 

D 

She drinks sweet m

C 

ilk by the gallon

G 

 

And shed neve

C 

r eat a salad or a Lea

G 

n Cuisine  

D 

G 

D 

 

And she’ll lay spread out on the hammock

C 

G 

 

After she’s don

C 

e her damage at Dairy

G 

Queen

D 

 

No you won

Em 

‘t find her name on the weigh

C 

t loss of fame

 

Down  

G 

at Jennie Crai

D 

gs

 

‘Cause when she ea

Em 

ts em’ out at th

C 

e Waffle House

 

T

G 

hey’ll bring in more ham a

D 

nd 

 

eggs

If Shania Was Mine

Posted on May 9, 2012 by admin

Chords and lyrics for If Shania Was Mine by Cledus T Judd

A 

If Shania was mine wouldn’t be proud of me

E 

Couldn’t hardly blame her cause I’m so derned ugly

A 

 

E 

If I got her on the Moonsh

A 

ine

A 

If Shania was mine say it fit just right

 

Though my polyester  

E 

suit was just a little too

A 

tight

 

E 

Cause I’d buy a new t

A 

upi

D 

Though I’d love to seduce h

A 

er

 

But she married  

D 

her 

 

producer

 

And all I do is  

E 

pray

 

If Shania was mine I think  

D 

I’d lose my mind

A 

 

 

E 

 

If she only teased me

A 

, squeezed me, pleased me one good time

 

And if she only knew, all the  

D 

things I’d Do

E 

 

I’d be the lawn mowin Crop growin, tatter

G 

pealing

D 

House cleaning kind

E 

A 

If Shania was mine

A 

Well if Shania was mine she’d have to better agree

E 

Can’t no one cook road kill better than me

A 

 

E 

She’d say, mmm, I like it like that

A 

 

A

D 

nd all I do is wonder who’s better boots are bent under

 

And know all I do is wine

E 

 

A 

If Shania, If Shania, If Shania, If Shania

 

If

E 

Shania was mine

How Do You Milk A Cow

Posted on May 9, 2012 by admin

Chords and lyrics for How Do You Milk A Cow by Cledus T Judd

 

But  

F 

I’ve got some kinfolk on the  

C 

Mason-Dixon 

 

line.

 

And  

F 

headed for my uncle’s  

C 

farm for a short time.

 

Dm 

I thought that

Em 

I would b

F 

e huntin’ an

G 

d 

 

fishin’.

C 

I misunderstood him some

F 

how.

Dm 

So far there’s

Em 

nothin’ 

 

bu

F 

t chores here t

G 

o 

 

mention.

C 

I didn’t mind feedin the  

F 

sows.

F 

But HOW DO YOU MILK A  

G 

COW?

 

How do you milk a  

C 

cow?

 

I wasn’t in  

F 

FFA.

 

This cow must think i’m  

G 

crazy

 

Up under it this

C 

way.

 

I’m sittin’ here a  

F 

pullin’, but there ain’t nothin’ comin’  

C 

out.

 

Oh E I E I  

G 

O,

 

How do you milk a  

C 

cow? 

 

 

C 

F 

 

F 

Can’t haul much hay in a  

C 

tiny sports car.

 

And  

F 

I’ve got shearin’ sheep right  

C 

down to an art.

 

Dm 

One thing’s for

Em 

sure,

 

I hate  

F 

shovelin’ 

 

ma

G 

nure,

C 

It gets all over my  

F 

overalls.

Dm 

Them horses need

Em 

shoein’

F 

I hear Bessie  

G 

mooin’.

 

So I  

C 

thought maybe I’d ask you  

F 

all.

F 

HOW DO YOU MILK A  

G 

COW?

 

How do you milk a  

C 

cow?

 

I think it’s safe to  

F 

say

 

A man could get ar

G 

rested for this stuff in  

C 

LA

 

This heifer must be  

F 

empty ’cause she ain’t puttin  

C 

out.

 

Oh E I E I  

G 

O,

 

Tell me how do you milk a  

C 

cow.

 

How do you milk a  

C 

cow?

 

I no longer  

F 

care.

 

I’m gettin sick and  

G 

tired of smellin’ dairy  

C 

air.

 

I’m headin’ back to  

F 

Cali

 

And I’m turnin’ in my  

C 

plow.

 

Oh E I E I  

G 

O.

 

How do you milk a  

C 

cow?

C 

F 

Every Light In The House Is Blown

Posted on May 9, 2012 by admin

Chords and lyrics for Every Light In The House Is Blown by Cledus T Judd

F 

I told you I d leave some flares on

C 

In case you ever wanted to find my home

A 

You frowned and said well the dang law should arrest ya

F 

C 

F 

Well this ole house keeps fallen apart

C 

So I went down to the local Wal-Mart

A 

And bought the Coleman lantern to impress ya

F 

C 

 

F 

Cause every light in the house is blown

C 

I keep on a clappin but they don’t clap on

A 

House looks like were the Amish live

F 

There’s really no point to pay the power bil

C 

l

F 

Every light in the house is blown

C 

The numbers won’t even light up on my telephon

A 

e

F 

Cause every light i

C 

n the house is blown

 

F 

It got awful dang depressin

C 

The lights all blew out one by one

A 

And I just can’t afford right now to replace them